My Fellow Marauders
by xannathaix
Summary: Story about the marauders in school. Slash. Sounds bad here, but it might be good, give it a try. I love the Marauders. Rated M for drugs, alcohol, sex, etc. First chapter RemusxSirius stars, JamesxLily comes in later.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: All JKR's. I wish I had been born when she started writing them. However, I had not even been conceived yet, let alone born. Therefore, I disclaim all to JKR.

* * *

"My fellow Marauders, I have something to show you." Sirius Black said as he walked into the compartment on the Hogwarts Express.

"If it has anything to do with your anatomy, Peter and I aren't interested. Save it for Moony." James Potter jokingly replied. James didn't have a problem with the fact that two of his best friends were gay, but he did find it hilarious that they hadn't realized they were soulmates yet.

"Ha. Ha. Ha. GREAT ONE, James. Although, that is a good point. At least Moony would appreciate my beauty." Sirius said.

"What's going on, and who would appreciate your beauty?" Remus Lupin asked as he walked into the compartment grinning widely, eating a bar of Honeyduke's chocolate.

"You would, of course, my lupine friend! James made a hilarious joke of our homosexuality, and I was merely pointing out that, despite your having love-ish feelings for me or not, you must admit I am a beautiful man. Prongs and Wormy, however, wouldn't necessarily notice this… James… Prongsie…PRONGS!"

"Wha--? What's going on?" James replied, coming out of the trance Lily Evans' arse had put him in.

"You were a bit too obvious, my dear. Had Evans or any of her friends turned around, they'd have figured out what a complete perv you are immediately." Sirius explained.

"Pads, just saying, I think Evans and her crew have figured out how pervy James is. Or do you not recall the incident at Christmas last year?" Peter Pettigrew piped up. He was definitely the least attractive of the Marauders, almost there only as a groupie, but for some reason, they trusted and loved him.

"Right you are, Wormy. Pads, Siriusly, Evans came up to wish us a Happy Christmas, and actually had a gift for James. But, what did she find when she pulled his curtains open? Can you just refresh my memory, Prongsie-pie? I seem to have forgotten the ending to this story." Moony taunted.

"She mffummshhking" James replied, a blush not creeping but running up his cheeks.

"Sorry, I couldn't hear you, mate."

"She caught meuhhhsmmff"

"One more time? I'm not sure I heard you right."

"SHE CAUGHT ME BLOODY WANKING, ALRIGHT?" James shouted, his face now redder than Evans' hair.

"Oh, umm…well…hello, Remus, Peter, Sirius…ahh…Potter. How were umm…how were your summers?" Lily Evans said, utterly embarrassed that she had walked in on what had to be a retelling of last Christmas' horrible events. Her face now rivaling James' in blush, clashing with her bright hair.

"HAHAHAH—HELL—HAHA—HELLO, Evans. Hahaha my summer was…hah…good. I stayed at James' you know, thankfully, I had my own room. I didn't have to catch him HAHAH doing anything naughty. HAHAHAHA" Sirius replied, trying to stay calm while laughing and stumbling his way through his joke. Lily's face was unquestionably darker than James' now.

"shut up. Sirius, I swear. Shut your fucking mouth." James angrily mumbled, having hardly any blood left in his body to circulate: half wanting to go to his face to blush, and half wanting to go to his…ahh…yeah. Lily in revealing muggle clothes wasn't exactly helping anything. She was embarrassed by the amount of skin she was showing during this personal tale's telling, and James couldn't take his eyes away from her. Any part of her. Her chest, her little peek of flat stomach, uncovered by her…what were they? Wife beaters?...whatever…They were marvelous in any other situation but this. Her long long legs. Perfect skin. Hell, even her ankles were turning him on. Just the memory of her standing at his bed, looking down at him in shock, unable for a moment to hide her longing and lust for him, would've been enough to get him started. But her, standing here, dressed so skimpily, remembering that moment too, that was too much. He was shifting, and trying to hide his situation with his robes, but Sirius saw before he could cover up.

"What's UP, James? This conversation getting too HARD to bear?" Remus realized what Sirius was talking about and jumped in to save his friend.

"Sirius, drop it. We'll get him later." Remus said, daring Sirius to say more with his eyes.

"Yeah, alright, I'm done. Sorry, mate."

"How do you get him to listen to you, Remus? Every time I tell him to shut up, he talks more. What's the secret?" Lily asked, blush not completely gone, but obviously past the worst of her horror. Remus just blushed lightly, praying no one noticed and mumbled "dunno, he always has. might be my furry little problem."

Lily looked suspiciously between Remus and Sirius, wondering what had happened since she last saw them. Sirius was avoiding eye contact with everyone but his left foot, and Remus was focused in on his chocolate wrapper, as if he cared what was in it or how many calories it was, and if that would change the fact he loved it. She looked to Peter and James now and said "Well, bye then, I suppose I'll see you at school. Oh, and James, the reason I came to find you is to bring you to the Head Students meeting. Come on."

James groaned, dreading, not only being a model student, but being alone with Lily for as long as he was going to be. If she didn't realize she loved him soon, he was going to go insane. Also, he realized as he started to stand, his erection had not quite subsided. He sat down quickly and told her he just had to tell the Marauders something and he'd be right up to the meeting. She shrugged and walked away, assuming it was some sort of good-bye from the pranking world.

Once she was gone, James sighed in relief and sat back. "Isn't there something you wanted to tell us, James?" Peter asked after a few seconds.

"Don't be daft, Wormy," Sirius answered.

"He was hard as a rock, Peter. He didn't want to stand up and let Lily see…again," Remus said, smiling mischievously.

"OH MERLIN, you two. Stop talking about my cock and start touching each others'." James yelled in exasperation.

"Oh…James you had an erection?" Peter asked, finally catching on.

Remus and Sirius were silent. Remus, intentionally so. Sirius was hoping to come up with something smart to say soon or it'd seem his wit was dissolving every time the subject of him and Moony being lovers came up.

"Yes, Peter. I did. Would you like to know all about it or am I allowed to leave now and go subject myself to torture by proximity but no intimacy?" James asked, breaking the silence, but noticing how awkward it had been at the mention of Remus and Sirius.

Peter held his hands up as a sign that he wasn't interested and said "I think I'll go see how Lily's friend Mary is doing."

James ran off to his meeting, already 3 minutes late, leaving Remus and Sirius alone.

"Ah, so, Sirius, is Peter seeing that Mary, then?" Remus asked, nervous suddenly.

"Yes, I think he wrote me about that in June. I thought he was kidding, but I guess we'll see." Sirius said, making small talk.

"Mm she seems nice. I see her and Lily in the library a lot. I think she's good at Potions, just after you, Lily, and Snivellus." Remus said.

"Fuck Snivellus. And fuck this conversation. Do we honestly care about some broad Peter's dating? Moony, we haven't talked since that night and I want to know what's going on."

* * *

_Flashback_

_Sirius' POV_

_ Fuck, I have had…eight, then the…so twelve…fuck. A lot to drink. I should go to bed. The party seems to be over and I am not going to try to clean in this state._

_Hmm there's Moony, lying on my bed…shirtless… "Moony yer so hot. Sosexy. Yer scars are cool. CouldIlickem?"_

"_WHAT? Sirius, how much have you had to drink?"_

"_Huh? Oh uhh Idunno. Awholelotwhy?"_

"_You realize you're licking my abs, right?"_

"_You realize yer fucking hot, right?"_

"_Mmmmm…" Moony's fuckinghot. I want him to keep moaning. Why's he here? I didn't even see him at the party. Whoa, is that…whoa he's hard. Is he giving in? He likes this? Oh yeah, he's gay. Wait, why is he here?_

"_Moony, why are you here? Not that I don't love that you are."_

"_Hmm? Oh, because I don't think drinking within a week of the full moon is too great an idea and…well…it's in 6 days."_

"_Yeah but why are you here? Shirtless? All sexy-like?"_

"_Well thanks, Pads. I'm here because I was looking for somewhere I could read while the rest of you drunks went off and made fools of yourselves."_

"_Why my bed? James' is just down the hall. And you have your own bed right now."_

"_Well maybe I was secretly drinking, pretending my intentions were good, and I knew your room was the one to find secret stashes of fireshiskey in."_

"_WHAT? You drank my firewhiskey? So did you see the wee—nevermind."_

"_Yeah I did drink it. I'm not proud but fuck, Siri, I just wanted to drink."_

"_I geddit. Really, I do. But uhh back to what we were doing before." His giggle is so fucking hot. I want it on a cassette or something._

"_You want to snog or…?"_

"_Oh, Remy, I'm glad you understand." Oh man, his hands are everywhere. OH. Not everywhere anymore. Ohh God, his hands feel like they were molded around my dick. Ahhh shit. Fuck, hold on, don't cum now, Sirius, it's too soon. That'd be so embarrassing. OH FUCK WHERE IS HIS HEA—SHITSHITSHITSHITSHIT! OH MY GOD, HE'S FUCKING SUCKING ME OFF. HOW MUCH FIREWHI—DOESN'T MATTER. GONNA CUM. "REMUS!!! SHIT."_

_I guess he's cool with this. Should I reciprocate? I want to. Fuck, I want to. His dick is so hard, the pre-come is leaking out all over. Fuck it, I'm going for it. No, I'm teasing him. Light kisses up his thighs, stopping just short. Licking his scars on his tummy, again, stopping just short. Breathing on it, making it twitch. _

"_Siri, I swear to God, if you keep doing that I will cum embarrassingly all over you before you even touch my dick." Oh shit, keep talking that way, Remy and you'll have me hard in seconds. Fuck, I guess that warning came a little too late. Whatever. Take his dick into your mouth, Sirius, he's begging for it. Oh Godddd the taste. Lick the tip, tease the head, bob up and down up and down. Suck the tip and—OH. Well that was without warning. I'll swallow. Mmm so salty, feels right._

"_I love you, Sirius." FUCK. What? LOVE? Oh shitfuckballstits._

"_I…yes. WHAT? JAMES? YES? COMING! Gotta go, Remus. See you later." You chicken shit. Why didn't you just say it back? You know it's true._

/Sirius' POV

* * *

"Yes, Sirius, I'm well aware that we haven't spoken since then. It was for a reason." Remus said icily. "However, I'm willing to put it behind us if you are."

WHAT A GODSEND. Sirius thought to himself. "Yes. Absolutely. I don't even know what we'd have to forget about…No. You know what, Remus? I need to talk about this. All that has been running through my mind since then is you and how I hurt you. I'm so so sorry, Remy."

"Save it. If you don't feel the same way, you don't feel the same way. I just wish you'd have told me instead of run away."

"That's just it, Remus. I do feel the same way. I love you. I really do, I was just a little chicken shit. I'd like to blame it on the lack of love I had growing up, and the fact that when I heard "I love you" it was always sarcastic and followed by a beating. However, I was never even told I was loved, and I ran because of a shit decision I made. It's not like Walburga and Orion were there making sure I fucked it up. It's my fault and I'm sorry, but I love you. I love you more than I could know."

Remus fell down onto the seat behind him, head in his hands, thinking. "Remus, I can understand if you don't want to forgive me or if you can't or whatever, but will you just do somethi—MM." Sirius repentance was cut off by a hard, angry kiss from Remus. He was pushed down on the seat behind him and Remus straddled him on his knees. Both of them completely aroused, they found themselves locking the compartment door and casting silencing spells. However, just before they finished casting them, the witch with the treat cart rolled by advertising Honeyduke's chocolate and Remus leapt up waving and motioning that he would have the money in a moment. He left Sirius pouting on the seat, with a tent in his pants, swollen lips, and dilated pupils. The witch looked at Remus and winked, giggling. Remus wondered what that was all about until he remembered his wild hair and the clear view of his beautiful partner behind him. He sat down grumbling.

"Remus, cheer up. Nothing bad happened. So someone saw us. Everyone knows we're gay, we might as well just get together, according to them."

"No, Sirius, it's nothing to do with that, it's just…"

"What, Rem?"

"I bought the smaller chocolate bar by mistake. This won't even last me to Scotland." His answer was met with a loud barking laugh and a sloppy wet kiss on the cheek.

"That's my Remy."

* * *

**A/N: **I know what I'm talking about so anything that doesn't make sense, ask about it in the reviews or in a PM. I'm pretty busy right now so although I wrote this in one sitting in just about 2 hours, that will not be a regular occurrence. Please don't flame. However, reviews are welcome, it was my first attempt at writing smut...and fanfiction. Anyway, I'll try to update when I can but I'm not condemning myself to a schedule idk if I can keep. I'll love you forever if you become my fan.


	2. Chapter 2

**Remus' POV**

Well I suppose that went well. I mean, if it hadn't, I wouldn't be curled up under his arm now in the carriage. I just wish James would stop giving us that smug look. And where did Wormy go? Lily's here now with her friend Mary. Wasn't that where Wormy was going? OH MY GOD. Sirius needs to stop. Why is he so okay with being so public about touching me and everything? Did he seriously just lick my neck like he was Padfoot or something? Jesus, James, stop looking at us like that. "So, umm, Lily, what class are you looking most forward to this year?" I ask trying to get Sirius distracted or at least uninterested.

"Hmm, that's hard, Remus." Lily said, looking off into the distance, seemingly contemplating whether she'd like Ancient Runes or Potions more.

"You know what else is hard?" Siruis asked huskily as he pulled me over into his lap. I gasped softly at the feeling of his erection pressing against my arse. He started moving against me slightly, whispering in my ear "Moony, you are so hot right now. I am so glad we're together. Maybe when we get to the castle we'll have a few minutes in a broom cupboard before sorting?" Just then I realized Lily had been answering me for a while.

"…suppose I should be excited that Slughorn likes me enough to put me in the Slug Club, but I don't look forward to Potions that much after all. So yeah I guess it'll be Defense Against the Dark Arts."

"Mhm. That's going to be interesting. I'm surprised you aren't more excited about Potions though. You got an O on that OWL." I said, trying to keep her talking to distract myself from the beautiful black haired boy's fingers running up and down my arm.

"Yeah, I guess I'm just kinda sick of Slughorn, and I've finally made up my mind about being an Auror," she said, then realizing my situation, she continued. "You know, I was debating whether to become a teacher or not, but when I was thinking about it this summer I realized I'd probably be like Binns."

"YOU WOULD NOT. You would never be as boring as him. He is practically unbearable." James said, jumping to Lily's defense. Against Lily. It was sweet how much he cared, but he didn't need to scream at the girl.

"Well, uh, thanks, James. But if I won't be like Binns, I'll be like McGonagall. A total stickler. You would hate me if I were your teacher."

"Could never hate you. I love you too much," James mumbled, thinking no one could hear him.

"Yes well that's all well and good, but I know you would, you're just being nice. Anyway, all the Marauders would. I think I might even hate myself as a teacher. That's why I decided to be an Auror."

"Quite a leap that is, from teacher to Auror, but to each his, or her, own…what subject would you be teaching, anyway?" Siruis asked calmly as he slid his hand under the hem of my shirt and started skimming his fingers along my scars. I let out a soft hiss, hoping no one heard. However, I felt Sirius' lips on my neck turn up into a smile as I let out the hiss, and I saw Lily's and James' do the same. I felt bad for Lily's friend. None of us really knew her but Lily, and she seemed a little uncomfortable with Sirius and me being like this. Too bad the Heads had to sit together, and as James' and Lily's friends, the rest of us were practically forced to sit together as well. And it's not like Sirius was going to stop soon.

"I was hoping for Potions Mistress or Charms. But before I even made up my mind about that, I made up my mind to be an Auror, not a teacher, so I never was sure about that. James, what do you think I'd be better at teaching?"

James stared at her in awe. She had not only called him James not Potter, but she was engaging him in conversation. He obviously thought this was about the best first day of school ever. Lily had to ask him again to get him to snap out of his trance. "Huh?? Oh. Umm Well I guess it'd have to be something like 'How to be a massive arsehole who dates big-headed Gryffindors and hates school' to have you be rubbish at teaching it. So I guess it doesn't really matter what class. My guess is Charms though. Potions seems more like a class Snivellus would teach. I'm not saying it's a rubbish subject, just that teaching it would put you in the dungeons with the Slytherins and all dirty and covered in gross ingredients and such. Charms, you'd get to be by Hufflepuff and it's just such a happy ittle subject. You'd be perfect at it."

"Uhh thanks, James. I guess. Who would want to take that first class? Nevermind. Thank-you for reassuring me. Just the same, however, I'm going to be an auror, so the class I'm looking forward to the most is DADA." Lily said, a bit flustered about what James had been saying. Usually he was so much of a prat he never actually said nice things like he just had. I was impressed that he had thrown in the "dates big-headed Gryffindors" bit. Either he had finally realized he's not as great as he thinks he is and realized he's super big-headed, or he was finally able to joke about the number of times he'd been rejected by her, and the words she'd used to do it. Sirius was chuckling into my shoulder and I knew he didn't want to be questioned about it now so I tried to make myself remember to ask him when we got to the castle.

"Yeah well you know, you asked, and I just told you the truth. Lily you'll be wonderful at whatever you do. Even if, you know, you give up work and choose to be a stay-at-home mom, you'll be the best there ever was," James said, in another attempt to be kind that I thought would get him castrated for sure. However, Lily just blushed lightly and tried to brush it off. What's up with that?

* * *

**Lily's POV**

"Yeah well you know, you asked, and I just told you the truth. Lily you'll be wonderful at whatever you do. Even if, you know, you give up work and choose to be a stay-at-home mom, you'll be the best there ever was," James said. Did that mean he had been imagining me as a mother? Did his pursuit of me go deeper than just being another one of James' Hogwarts Hos? Did he just reference us being married? Why wasn't I really upset? Why was I blushing? I couldn't let anyone know that in the deepest corners of my heart, I found James more than a little attractive, or that secretly, I had been imagining him as a father. Fuck off, Remus, I see that little smirk like now that you're with Sirius, you're the love guru or something. Maybe I don't want to be with him, okay? Stop looking at me like that. Should I just be with him, though? We have a special common room and private bedrooms this year. It would be kind of awkward if I walked in on him showering and jumped him, right? Because at this point I think that's what I might do if I don't confess to him now. I hope he asks me out again soon. That way I can finally say yes without having to go to him first.

* * *

**James' POV**

Damn, Lily is SO hot. That little pink flush moving up her cheeks because I said she'd be a good mom. It was never this easy to make her blush. OH GOD, what if she finally realized how much she loved me? I'm going to ask her out tonight. When we're in our new room. Hopefully I can convince her to show me some spell or something and while we're in the common room I'll just out and ask her. Oh but wait, what did Sirius say? It was bad to ask her out until later or she'll think I'm that same guy from years past. Pshh what does Sirius know? He's shagging fucking Remus. It's not like Remus is a normal lover. Not even for guys. I'm not saying that because they're gay, just because he's Remus. God, I can't take this, does she like me or not? Fuck it. "Lily, I was wondering if you would like to go to Hogsmeade with me when the first weekend comes up. Or tonight, I know other ways of getting there." Fuck fuck fuck fuck, please say yes. And why did I mention rule-breaking? If there's one way to turn Lily Evans off, it's breaking the precious rules.

"Yeah why not? I might as well give you a chance. How about tonight?" An angel's voice swept through the carriage, giving me the answer I had been hoping for. I expectantly stared at Lily. "Well?" I asked. "What do you say?"

"I say yes. Let's go tonight. I could go for a drink at the Three Broomsticks."

WHAT? WHHHAAATT???? I looked at Padfoot and Moony to make sure I hadn't heard her wrong, but they had figured we were too deep into conversation to notice if they started snogging, I guess. Oh Jesus, Pads needs to stop being so public, stroking Moony's…ahem…like that. If that blush on Moony's cheeks is any indication, he doesn't want to do that here. Anyway, back to Lily. I FINALLY HAVE A DATE WITH HER. "BRILLIANT. Great. I'll pick you up—nevermind, we share a room. HAHAHA wow. Great. Wonderful. I can't wait for tonight." I managed to stumble out, giddily laughing along the way.

"Wait, Prongs, Evans finally said yes?" Sirius said, finally catching on that there was a world outside his and Moony's err sexuality.

"Yes, you prat. Thank you for snogging through the greatest moment of my life to date." I said, joking about my anger, but not about that being the best thing that ever happened to me.

"Sorry, James, we were distracted," Remus said sheepishly. I felt bad for him. Sirius was so open and loud, and Remus was so quiet and reserved. It was too bad he had fallen for him. Their styles of being together didn't mesh very well at all. Not that they weren't the best gay couple ever. I would say best couple but now that Lily and I were together, obviously that was us. WAIT, Lily and I are together, should I seal it with a kiss? I'm going for it. Oh, well console Moony first. "It's fine, Moony, if I could snog someone like Sirius I would whenever I could. Haha. No, just kidding, I'd much rather have Lily." Here goes nothing. I'm about to kiss her. She's looking into my eyes, her pupils dilating, she licked her lips, and that was it. I gently pressed my lips to hers, the velvety feel intoxicating me. That's when she starts to move her lips with mine, melding perfectly. Shit, I was already hard, and I had pulled her up into the kiss. No doubt she felt me on her stomach. But she wasn't stopping. I ran my tongue across her bottom lip, begging that she just let me explore that magical mouth of hers. And she obliged. She opened her mouth and I slid my tongue in, dancing about with hers, tasting every centimeter of her. She moaned into my mouth and that was it. I tackled her back onto the seat, and her friend Mary moved. Sorry, Mary, I've been dreaming about this for 6 years. I let my hands wander, lightly brushing her sides, when they come to the hem of her shirt. I slide my hands under, reaching up towards her bra. I unclasp it and touch her breasts. I cum in my pants. Well, that is embarrassing. She noticed, too. She was running her hands down my naked torso(how the fuck did she manage that, that sneaky witch), getting closer and closer to my pants when I came, obviously calling her name and shaking from the power of it. Not to mention my pants were showing the cum.

"Hahah James don't worry about it. We got carried away, and it was all unexpected. I don't think that happens to you often. It must just be how amazing I am at everything," she teased. Suddenly, I noticed that the carriages had stopped a long time ago, Moony, Padfoot, and Mary had gotten off, and as I looked out the window, I realized we were the last students in the carriages. I hurried to get dressed and cleaned, and as I helped Lily, Filch came up to us, trying to bust us for something. Luckily we were both dressed, Lily's hair looked perfect, and mine was under control enough to look normal-ish for me. He asked us what we were up to and Lily brilliantly came up with an excuse on the spot. "Mr. Filch, sir, we were splitting up the patrol hours for the next few weeks and we must've gotten carried away. Everyone was silent, and they had assumed we realized we had stopped, but we hadn't. I'm so sorry that we didn't get off with the rest of the students, we were too engrossed in the patrol." I knew there was a reason I loved this girl.

"Very well then. Ms. Evans, keep this hooligan under control. He's the worst Head Boy material I've ever seen. However, I admire you if you got him under control enough to talk patrol hours so deeply you didn't realize the carriages stopped." Lily blushed at this, but I don't think Filch noticed. We walked up to the castle with him in silence, embarrassed at what he almost caught us doing. For the only time in my life, I was happy that I had cum prematurely. Every other time (not that it happened all that often) it was horribly embarrassing and I never lived it down. However, this time, it had saved Lily and me.

When we walked into the Great Hall, everyone seemed busy catching up over the long summer that we went unnoticed. However, just a few seconds after we sat down, Moony and Pads walked in and no one had any doubt about where they had been based on their appearance. Whispers started going around each table, asking who knew about them before now. Arguably two of the three most attractive males in the school, their togetherness came as a disappointment to everyone interested in men. Lily and I motioned to them and they came over, hand in hand. When they got close, Sirius heard Bonnie O'Doole, that Irish bird who was engaged to that Finnegan muggle whisper about the new couple. Sirius then turned to the school and cast a quick _Sonorous _and announced "Yes, everyone, Remus and I are now dating. In fact, we are coming from shagging in the broom closet just there, outside in the Entrance Hall. We would appreciate it if you would keep your noses out of it, however. Especially your extra long and greasy one, Snivellus. That will be all, thank you for your time." I'll always admire Sirius' ability to ignore what everyone thought of him and just to say what he wants. I don't think I'll ever be able to do that.

Professor Dumbledore stood, the twinkle in his blue eyes going mad behind those half-moon spectacles. "And with that, have a great year, and a great feast!!" The food rose up onto the table, practically sparkling with beauty to all the students who had been dreaming of this food for months. "Tuck in, my little soot bumbles!"

* * *

A/N: In case you're wondering about what Sirius was talking about in the first chapter when he said he had something to show them, just wait, you'll see soon. Also, soot bumbles is apparently a term of endearment from…Denmark? Idk, my art teacher uses it all the time and he's a bit Dumbledore-y. I apologize if I'm utter shit at British lingo, alas, I am American. I hate AU's that are in America but the same stories just because the author is American and doesn't want to deal with slang. So maybe my characters won't sound particularly British. Whatever. Also, it's amazing how many different countries are being represented by people who read this. Italy, Germany, Iran, Israel, Australia, etc. I kind of just expected Americans to read this lol. But THANK YOU. Also, just saying right now, I will probably only be able to update once a week. Sorry, I know you hate me. I would hate me. I've taken to only reading complete fanfictions for just this reason lol. Anyway, thank you for reading and putting up with my ridiculously long Author's Note.

Disclaimer: really?


	3. Blog Updater Sorry

Okay so you probably all hate me a whole fucking lot, but I'm hoping this could maybe if not excuse my horrible behavior, at least offer a lot of attempts to excuse it:

Go to myfellowmaruaders(dot)blogspot(dot)com

You can go read that if you so choose.

PLEASE forgive me. I love you all for caring.


	4. Chapter 3

It had been a few weeks since his first date with Lily and she still hadn't told James to fuck off or anything. Things were going swimmingly. In fact, she had slept over in James' dorm the night before. Granted, all they'd done was talk and cuddle a bit before falling asleep, but that didn't matter to James. As long as Lily wasn't ignoring him, he was fine with whatever she threw his way. Even hexes and insults were fine, because it was some kind of feeling directed toward him. The only problem with their relationship was how little time it left James with the other Marauders.

Although, what with Remus and Sirius together, one could hardly place the blame solely on James for the lack of marauding lately. It wasn't that James and Peter were homophobic, it was more that when pranking Slytherins etc., they preferred not to have to turn around to yell at Moony and Padfoot to hurry up, only to find them snogging away. Well, James wasn't homophobic, at least. It was more that they were his best friends and it was a bit like being cut out of the loop. Peter, on the other hand, was a bit homophobic under it all. Sure, he felt a bit cut out too, but if he were being honest, he would admit that he had never felt like he truly belonged in the first place. The Marauders exuded excellence. All Peter exuded was a somewhat foul smell of eggs when he was sweaty.

"Hey, guys?" Peter asked tentatively. "When are we going to spend some time together?"

"We spend time together constantly, Peter. Or have you forgotten that we're sitting at breakfast together after walking down from our shared dorm? Together?" Sirius asked, a bit fed up with Peter's insistence that they hang out, then running away whenever Sirius so much as glanced at Moony.

"Well I just mean that we haven't spent that much time together for real since you and Moony started…whatever-ing…and James finally got Lily," Peter squeaked.

"Yeah, Wormtail, we know. It has been weird not hanging out as the four of us as much, but even when James is away, you're welcome to come and be with Pads and me," Remus said, trying to calm them both.

"Yeah and I'll try to be with you lot more I suppose. You're a bit boring compared to Lily, but I'll manage," James joked.

"Oh, shove it, Prongs. Hahah. Besides, we all know you envy Moony's getting to touch my dick," Sirius said, effectively making Remus blush, James crack up, and Peter cringe. "Oh fuck off, Wormy. If you had some bird touching your dick, you wouldn't hesitate in making some dumb joke like that about one of us envying her. What's so different about me and Moony? Just shut the fuck up and quit being such a prat."

"N-no, Sirius, I just, I just got a bad image in my mind. I-i-I just don't wanna think about anyone touching your dick. Snot cuz it's Moony! Just cuz I don't wanna think about your dick and cum and all that when I'm trying to eat my breakfast," Peter squealed out, rushing to explain himself. Sirius looked at his breakfast, realizing it was a bit of an unfortunate group of foods to talk about dicks over. Peter had a banana and a bowl of yogurt. Still, that was no excuse for the way he'd been acting for the past month or so. Whatever, he'd argue later if it came up again. For now, he was just going to go to classes and then show Moony and Prongs what he'd found that summer at his job in Muggle London.

"Well, anyway, kids, let's get to Transfiguration," James said.

"Ohh shit," Remus muttered with a (MOONY! MERLIN! WHAT LANGUAGE!) from Sirius.

"What is it, Remus?" Peter asked.

"Ahh, I've forgotten my essay up in the dorm. I've brought the Goblin Rebellion one for Binns instead."

"I'll go get it with you," James volunteered, happy to have an excuse not to go to class right away.

"No, no, I'll go, Jamie. Don't want you missing any more of Minnie's class. You'll have to take perfect notes for us. Oh! And give her this picture of me, will you? I want her to know my love for her is undying," Sirius said, handing James a picture of him Remus had taken a few days earlier. He was naked and sporting a massive hard-on, lying on a couch in front of the fire in the common room. Originally the picture had been for Remus only, but Sirius couldn't deny Professor McGonagall of his beauty, nor could he deny James of the horrified look that was bound to reveal itself on Minnie's face when she saw it.

"Oh Merlin, Padfoot. How do you expect me to give this to her? She won't take it if she knows it's a photo."

"Right. I've charmed it so it looks like homework to her until she's taken it in her hands and read my name and date."

"Brilliant."

"Well, off you two go, then. Take a picture of her face when she sees it, if you can," Sirius said to his friends as he and Remus went up the stairs to Gryffindor tower to "get Remus' essay."

"That was easy," Remus remarked. "I thought we'd have to fight for EVER to get rid of them. Too bad we had to give that picture of you away, though. I rather liked it."

"Did you now, Moony? You know, I'm always up for another photoshoot if you want another picture."

"Well then, off with your trousers," Remus said, matter-of-factly as they stepped into the common room.

"Merlin, Moony. I never knew you to be so forward. Your wish is my command, Moonbeam," Sirius said, both taken aback and hard as a rock due to Remus' no-nonsense attitude.

"I'll just go get the camera. Please arrange yourself into a nice pose while I'm gone," Remus said as he hurried up the stairs to find the camera. Where had he put it after last time? Oh, that's right, they'd ended up on Sirius' bed, so his camera (and his clothes from that night) should be…aha! Right under the bed. As Remus walked back down into the common room, he caught a glimpse of Sirius. Sirius had not only arranged himself into a nice pose for Remus, but he had also taken up stroking himself, waiting for Remus' return. His head was back, silky black hair spread out behind him on the back of the couch, eyes shut in pleasure, mouth slightly open, chest moving with short, quick, shallow breaths. This almost made Remus drop the camera on its own. When he heard a muttered "Mm Remus…" it became too much, and Remus did indeed drop the camera. At this, Sirius's head shot up, eyes popped open in surprise at the loud clattering. He looked at his Moony with confused, lust-filled eyes and said "Like what you see, Moons?"

At this, Remus groaned and ran over to him, stripping off his shirt on the way, the idea of taking pictures long forgotten.

* * *

IN TRANSFIGURATION

McGonagall's POV:

"My dear Professor McGonagall, I come bearing gifts: both my homework (shocker, I know) and, perhaps more shocking than that, Sirius Black's homework. He's in the hospital wing with a nasty headache. Before you ask, I do not know where Remus is. He ran off at the end of breakfast without preamble," James Potter said, rather too cockily. Merlin how I'd like to slap him sometimes. Just get it through his big head that he isn't as perfect as he seems to think he is.

"Yes, yes, thank you, Potter. Now have a seat. And Pettigrew, is there a reason you haven't taken a seat yet, or were you just being an ultimate Potter fanboy?" Perhaps that was a bit too harsh. The poor boy has been jumpier than ever this year. Well, no use dwelling on it, he just blushed and sat down. "Oh, and Potter, the assignments, please?"

"Ah, yes, of course, professor. Here they are." Now for just a quick look to make sure these aren't some form of forgery, copying, or any other form of academic dishonesty. Yes, Potter's seems quite in order, now for a glance at Black's. What rubbish the opening lines are: "Transfiguration of a rat into a goblet is truly most difficult. You will find that when trying to transfigure the rat, he will yell 'Sirius, stop it! I'm not a damn experiment rat!' At which point you will have to knock your friend Peter over the head with a pan." Well, at least he tried. This is his, correct? OH. My. merlin. What in the name of Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore is this? Why is Black's homework now a nudie picture? My word, unless he's tampered with the picture, he IS well endowed. Lucky Lupin, lucky Lupin indeed. Potter must know. OH SHIT. He took a picture of me, didn't he? This whole damned class has been one prank extraordinaire run by none other than the Marauders themselves. Perfect. "Potter, Pettigrew, you will stay after class, you will come with me to find your missing half, and you WILL be getting detention. Count on that."

* * *

James' POV

THE LOOK…ON HER FACE..HAHAHAH… IS FUCKING PRICELESS. If only Sirius were interested, Remus would have some real competition. Fucking Merlin's saggy left…that was brilliant. Sirius owes me BIG TIME.

* * *

Peter's POV

What's just happened? Aww, did James play another prank with Sirius and Remus without telling me? Well, that's just fine, Peter, just go play with your other new friends. Surely Regulus and Lucius would've included me.

* * *

No POV, back with Remus and Sirius

"How much trouble do you think James is in right now?" Sirius asked, stroking Remus' hair lightly as he held him on the couch.

"I'm sure he's in very much trouble, Sirius, but I also think that perhaps we should get dressed and go where we said we were going so that when McGonagall comes to castrate us, she won't find us like this and just assume that when you're not in Transfiguration, you can always be found naked on this couch. Also, it would be nice if people just knew we were dating, without having to see us naked all over the place."

"All extremely valid points, Moony. I love you."

"Love you too, Pads. Now get the fuck up."


End file.
